Hi there, I’m Lucy. I’m 27 and I’m a carer in the community caring for the elderly in their own homes. I had my urostomy placed in August 2023 due to bladder failure and interstitial cystitis with no further treatments that will help, my quality of life was poor and I lived everyday with pain and severe infections. I turned 27 3 months after my surgery.
I’d say mentally processing surgery afterwards was the hardest part for me, I was so focused on physically being prepared and having everything I needed once I returned home and how my life would improve, I never even thought about how I would cope mentally with the changes my body would face. Physically everyday or so you feel improvements but mentally you don't see the improvements as your body still feels damaged and like its failed you. I am still now working on accepting my body.
How I viewed my stoma before compared to now, 100% has changed, at first I HATED looking at it, emptying it or even thinking about ‘stoma admin’ as I call it, but now when I reflect on my journey I have become more positive about my stoma, I can say I managed to go swimming again because of my stoma etc.
I think that being open with people about how I was feeling has helped so much, finding people who have been in similar situations and connecting with them. I think those talking to someone with a stoma could be more open minded, I get so so so many comments like ‘you're too young to live with a stoma’ when actually there is no age at all to have a stoma and not a one size fits all on the reason to having one.
To my younger self I would say: never take anything for granted, spend as much time as you can with loved ones and never waste a day angry!
To any new ostomates reading this, I would say just breath, take each day as it comes, set boundaries for your recovery, don’t compare yourself with others, there are tons of bag types out there so don’t feel disheartened if one doesn’t work, there is always a solution and most of all, better days are coming!